Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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