I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
