she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
