I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
