Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
