And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
