Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
