there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
