What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
