I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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