No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
