Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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