He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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