I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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