Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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