Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
