you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
