Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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