i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
