She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
