What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
