I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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