actually, I'm a sock model
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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