some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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