i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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