This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
