i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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