If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
