mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
