New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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