Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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