I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize