how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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