I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
