I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize