My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
