My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
