why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
