I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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