Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
