I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize