I'm jealous of your bromance
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
