Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
