im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
