I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
