My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
