what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
