should my penis look like a turkey
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
