Me. At least after what I've been through.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
