K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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