we made out on top of his cat.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
