I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize