You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
