last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
