she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My bed smells like the plague
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
